Financial Abuse: Recognising and Escaping Economic Harm
💜 You are not to blame, and help is free
Financial abuse, also called economic harm, is when someone controls or restricts your access to money, work or financial decisions. It is a recognised form of family violence in New Zealand, and it can happen to anyone, of any income, age or gender. If this is happening to you, none of it is your fault, and you are not alone. This guide explains what financial abuse looks like, the warning signs, and safe, practical steps to start regaining control of your money. It also lists the free, confidential services that help every day. Please read it on a safe device where no one else can see, and go at your own pace. Your safety comes first, and the money steps can wait until you are ready.
In an emergency, call the New Zealand Police on 111. For free, confidential support any time, you can call Women's Refuge on 0800 733 843, Shine on 0508 744 633, or the Are You OK family violence information line on 0800 456 450. For money and debt help, MoneyTalks financial mentors are on 0800 345 123. These services support anyone affected by family violence, whatever your gender or situation.
An abuser may monitor your phone, email or bank logins. Where you can, use a device they cannot access, such as a friend's phone or a library computer, and use private browsing. Be careful about search history, texts and call logs. A specialist advocate can help you find safe ways to communicate and to take the steps in this guide without being noticed.
🔍 What financial abuse looks like
Financial abuse is a pattern of controlling behaviour around money. Under the Family Violence Act 2018 it is recognised as a form of psychological abuse, described as unreasonably denying or limiting access to financial resources, or preventing or restricting employment or education. The law recognises that a single act can be abuse, and that a pattern of smaller acts, each of which might seem minor on its own, can add up to serious harm.
Common forms of financial abuse
- Controlling all the money: Taking charge of every account, wage and benefit, and controlling whether you can access your own money.
- Coerced or hidden debt: Pressuring, tricking or forcing you into taking loans, credit cards or hire purchase in your name, or running up debt you did not agree to.
- Sabotaging your job or study: Making you late, causing scenes at work, hiding car keys, or stopping you from working or studying so you cannot earn or become independent.
- Withholding money for essentials: Refusing to give you enough for food, power, medicine or the children, or making you ask and justify every dollar.
- Demanding receipts and accounts: Requiring you to explain and prove every purchase, giving you a tiny allowance, or punishing you for spending.
- Blocking financial decisions: Keeping you in the dark about income, debts, or property, and shutting you out of decisions that affect you.
Financial abuse is not about how much you earn. It happens to people on high incomes and low incomes, to men and women, in every kind of relationship, and to older people who are controlled by an adult child or carer. Controlling the money is a common way to trap someone, because without access to your own money it is much harder to leave. Recognising it for what it is can be the first step.
Warning signs to watch for
You might be experiencing financial abuse if any of these feel familiar:
- You have no money of your own, or no account only you can access.
- You have to ask permission or account for every dollar you spend.
- Your pay or benefit goes into an account you cannot control.
- There are debts in your name you did not agree to, or that you were pressured into.
- You are stopped from working, studying, or seeing friends and family.
- You are afraid of what will happen if you spend money on yourself or the children.
- You do not know what the household earns, owns or owes.
If someone pressured, threatened or tricked you into debt, or took it out in your name without your real agreement, you do not have to simply accept it. Keep any evidence, and get advice. A lawyer or Community Law can explain your position, a financial mentor can help you deal with the lender, and coerced debt can be relevant to a protection order and to how relationship property is later divided. You are not the first person this has happened to, and there are avenues.
🛡️ Safe steps to regain financial control
These steps help you rebuild financial independence. Take them at your own pace, and only when it is safe to do so. If you are still living with the person, a specialist advocate can help you plan each step so it is not noticed. There is no need to do everything at once.
1. Quietly gather key documents
When it is safe, start collecting copies of the documents you may need: your IRD number, bank details, ID and passport, birth certificates, tenancy or mortgage papers, insurance, payslips, and any loan or debt paperwork. Photos of documents kept in a private, secure place, such as an email account only you can access or with a trusted friend, can be enough. Having these ready makes later steps, like opening an account or getting legal help, much faster.
2. Open an account in your own name, where safe
An account that only you can access is the foundation of financial independence. Where it is safe, open a bank account in your sole name, ideally at a different bank, and do not have statements posted home. You can redirect your pay or benefit into it, and start a small private buffer. Our bank account security guide has more on protecting your logins and statements.
3. Check your credit report for debt in your name
Your credit report shows loans, credit cards and accounts recorded in your name. Checking it is a safe way to find out whether there is coerced or hidden debt you did not know about. You can get your credit report at no cost from New Zealand's credit reporting companies, and our guide on checking your credit report explains how. If you find something you did not agree to, keep a copy and get advice before deciding what to do.
4. Change passwords, PINs and security
If the other person knows your banking logins, email password or card PINs, change them from a safe device when it is safe to do so. Set up a new email address they do not know about for anything financial, and turn on two factor authentication where you can. Ask your bank about extra security on your accounts, and about a family violence or vulnerable customer support process, which most banks now have.
5. Get legal advice about orders and property
Free legal help is available. Community Law and a family lawyer can explain your options, including a Protection Order under the Family Violence Act. A Protection Order can be applied for on its own or urgently without notice, and it can be paired with a Property Order, which can let you stay in the home you live in, and a Furniture Order, which lets you keep essential household items. A lawyer can also advise on your share of relationship property and on any coerced debt. Legal aid may cover the cost.
Advocates at Women's Refuge and Shine, financial mentors at MoneyTalks, and lawyers at Community Law do this work every day and it is free. They can help you sequence these steps safely, apply for orders and grants, deal with banks and lenders, and make a plan that fits your situation. Reaching out is a strength, not a weakness.
🔢 Worked New Zealand examples
These four examples show the money steps people take to regain financial safety. The names and figures are illustrative, and every situation is different, so please get specialist advice for your own. The focus is on practical steps, taken safely.
Situation: Aroha checks her credit report from a safe device and finds two debts she did not agree to: a personal loan and a credit card her partner set up in her name under pressure.
Identifying the coerced debt
Aroha does not try to fix this quietly on her own. She saves a copy of the credit report, notes the dates, and contacts a Community Law centre and a MoneyTalks financial mentor. They explain that coerced debt can be challenged, that she can raise it with the lenders and the credit reporter, and that it can matter for a protection order and for dividing relationship property later. Documenting the $8,500 is the first money step, not paying it off silently.
Situation: Priya earns $1,000 a week, but her wages are paid into a joint account her partner controls, leaving her with no money of her own. With an advocate's help, she plans a safe way to change this.
Building financial independence
Priya times the change with her advocate so it is not noticed before she is ready. Getting her own $1,000 pay into an account only she can access, and quietly building a $2,000 buffer, gives her choices she did not have before. She changes her banking passwords and PIN from a safe device at the same time.
Redirecting pay or opening an account can be discovered, so timing matters. An advocate helps you decide when and how, so a positive money step does not put you at greater risk. There is no prize for rushing.
Situation: Sam has children and rents the family home with their partner, who is financially and psychologically abusive. Sam does not want to uproot the children by moving out.
The money effect of the orders
With a lawyer's help, and legal aid covering the cost, Sam applies through the Family Court. A Protection Order can be made urgently and without notice if a judge agrees it is needed. Because a Property Order and Furniture Order can be granted alongside it, staying put, rather than fleeing with nothing, becomes a realistic and much cheaper option. The children keep their home, school and routine.
Orders are powerful but the right approach depends on your circumstances and safety. Always talk to a family lawyer or Community Law, and involve a Women's Refuge or Shine advocate, so the legal steps and your safety plan work together.
Situation: Mia has left an abusive relationship and is setting up on her own with her income of $1,200 a week. She wants a simple plan to get back on her feet.
A first budget and emergency fund
Mia opens her own account, checks her credit report so she knows exactly what is in her name, and applies for any help she is entitled to, which a Work and Income case manager or MoneyTalks can check. She builds a small emergency fund first, so an unexpected bill does not push her back into debt. Step by step, her money becomes her own again.
Sources
Contacts and rules in this guide were checked in July 2026 against the following official and primary sources:
- Family Violence Act 2018, section 11 (meaning of psychological abuse, including financial or economic abuse: unreasonably denying or limiting access to financial resources, or preventing or restricting employment or education), New Zealand Legislation (legislation.govt.nz)
- Ministry of Justice, Protection Orders, Property Orders and Furniture Orders, and applying without notice, justice.govt.nz
- Women's Refuge free crisis line 0800 733 843 (womensrefuge.org.nz) and Shine free helpline 0508 744 633 (2shine.org.nz)
- Are You OK family violence information line 0800 456 450 (areyouok.org.nz), and New Zealand Police 111 in an emergency (police.govt.nz)
- MoneyTalks free financial helpline 0800 345 123 (moneytalks.co.nz), and Good Shepherd NZ, "Recognise economic harm" (goodshepherd.org.nz)
Note: this guide is general information, not legal advice, and it cannot cover every situation. Your safety comes first. Please get advice from a specialist advocate and, where you can, a lawyer, so any steps fit your circumstances.
Related tools and guides
- Budget Calculator - build a simple weekly or monthly budget on your own income
- Emergency Fund Calculator - work out a savings buffer target and timeframe
- Debt Repayment Calculator - plan how to pay down debt
- Checking your credit report
- Bank account security
- Money in separation and divorce
- Financial hardship help
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